Talkin’ Gay
March 25, 2008
Above: Prefers the company of vaginas
Comic, actor, and writer Owen Benjamin is living in a world gone queer. That’s the premise of Benjamin’s new show on Crackle, Gaytown, where one average straight guy fights for acceptance in a small town full of intolerant and backwards gays. It’s like that weird Travolta movie White Man’s Burden where black people are bigoted and white people discriminated against. Except it’s fablarious (hilarious + fabulous)! Benjamin recently answered a few of our questions about Gaytown, the place, and Gaytown, the show.
Crackle: How did you get the idea for Gaytown—had you spent a lot of time in the Castro or West Hollywood recently?
Owen Benjamin: Living in Hollywood for sure was huge. Seeing rainbows on the police cars out here definitely was inspiring.
Crackle: You had a small part in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which was about two dudes who pretend to be gay for financial reasons. Did this movie have any bearing on your creation of Gaytown?
OB: No, that was just insanely fun. I’ve been thinking about doing Gaytown for years.
Crackle: How have your gay friends reacted to the show—are you afraid at all of offending them?
OB: No, gay people seem to like it the best. I didn’t use the gay stereotype very much and I think a lot of them will see it as an eye opener to the straight community for what a lot of them go through. Of course some will be offended, but there are always people [who are] offended [by] everything comedic.
I’m sure “why did the chicken cross the road” wasn’t very popular in the chicken community.
Above: Gaytown, Episode One
Crackle: What is the closest you’ve ever come to a real-life Gaytown?
OB: West Hollywood and Chelsea [in NYC]. But neither of those places are anything like Gaytown. A main joke of Gaytown is that it’s very conservative. The gay communities I know are very artistic and liberal and open. In Gaytown its as if you’re in the center of Alabama but everyone is gay.
Crackle: You’re a Punk’d alumnus; how would a Gay Punk’d go?
OB: Probably not very well, haha. [ed: We'd had in mind something along the lines of staged repossession of all of Perez Hilton's hair product. But whatever.]
Crackle: Legally speaking, what’s it like to be straight in Gaytown? Can you get married? Are there laws against vaginal sex?
OB: There’s an anti-straight ordinance that forces all men to wear fannypacks.
Crackle: IMDB says that you’re in the upcoming movie The House Bunny, the story of a down-on-her-luck Playboy Bunny who teaches life lessons to a group of clueless sorority girls. Did any of this wisdom make it to you?
OB: I played Hugh Hefner’s shirtless butler. I don’t think my character was capable of too much wisdom, haha.
Crackle: On a scale of 1 to 10 and with as much commentary as possible, rate how much displeasure the following activities would cause if performed in a public place in Gaytown, where 1 is no displeasure and 10 is maximum
displeasure:
- Holding a ‘Bette Midler Sucks’ sign
7 - Don’t fuck with Bette.
- Wearing clothes that don’t fit right
1 - It’s actually encouraged.
- Buying tickets to ‘10,000 B.C.’
[The movie] doesn’t exist in Gaytown. It’s RENT everyday all day.
- Selling NASCAR memorabilia
2 - NASCAR is actually HUGE in the gay community.
- Eating McDonald’s
9 - Unless you plan on getting a no carb lettuce wrap.
Tune into C-SPOT on Crackle for a brand-new episode of Gaytown tomorrow, March 26th.
Shooting the bull… with Mr. Deity!
March 5, 2008
He’s everywhere at all times, yeah yeah, but let’s face facts: it’s not easy getting an audience with our creator. So imagine our shock when Mr. Deity - omnipotent father of Jesus and creator of the biweekly web series that gives us mortals an inside look at the goings on upstairs - agreed to answer a few of our questions. Thanks, benevolent creator!
Crackle: Describe your childhood.
Mr. Deity: Being a childhood deity was tough. People expect so much from you. They’re always looking for favors. And you never know who your true friends are. Plus, you have to worry about your parents squandering your hard-earned income. Zeus’ parents used some of his money to have an above-ground pool put in.
But for me, the toughest part was the hair. Going prematurely gray when I was 18 months old made things difficult. My teachers were already intimidated by the whole “deity” thing. So, when my gloriously thick head of white hair was added to the mix, it was an heuristic nightmare, my friend.
Crackle: Walk us through a typical day in the life of Mr. Deity.
Mr. Deity: It’s just one damned thing after the other. If it’s not people killing each other, or stealing each other’s property, it’s the wifi chuggin’ along at 97kbps while I’m trying to watch “Penn Says,” [ed: he's a shoutout Deity] or trying to get some decent cell service on this damned iPhone. Curse you, AT&T!!!!
Crackle: Why Mr. Deity? Did you never feel like going for the doctorate?
Mr. Deity: School was no fun for me. [Again], it was the hair.
Crackle: Like it or not, you’re a Christian Deity. Do you enjoy good relations with other Deities—Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, etc.?
Mr. Deity: I get along well with almost all other deities. There was a problem early on with the Greek gods, who tried to form a union and push me out (which is why you don’t hear from them anymore), but for the most part we’re all really good friends. I particularly enjoy the company of the Buddha. You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he’s a really good dancer. He’s also the king of the pie-eating contest (that, you could probably figure out by looking at him).
Crackle: How do you compensate Larry?
Mr. Deity: I compensate Larry with fish. He can swallow them whole if they’re not too big. It’s freaky.
Crackle: We never see you during your downtime. How do you relax?
Mr. Deity: I enjoy video games - God of War, in particular. (SIDEBAR: My dog is named “Aries”, who is the god of what…? That’s right, office supplies.) I’m looking forward to the new Metal Gear Solid, and I’m hoping I can get my hands on a PS3 soon. I wanted one for Christmas, but apparently no one up here knows how to take a hint.
Below: Mr. Deity and the Help Meet (Season 2, Episode 9)
Crackle: Worshipping false idols or taking your name in vain—which gets your goat more?
Mr. Deity: I don’t really have a problem with idols. That was another big misunderstanding involving my hatred and contempt of “American Idol.” I mean, seriously, how do you get rid of Sanjaya?
The “taking my name in vain” thing really does bother me though — not saying “God Dammit” and stuff like that, but doing evil in my name (which is what the commandment is really about). And I’ll tell you this right now, anyone who voted against Sanjaya, and did so in my name, is gonna have a painful stretch with Lucy down in the catheter room.
Crackle: What’s the most accurate portrayal of your behavior, Milton’s God in Paradise Lost, Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty, or Alanis Morissette in Dogma?
Mr. Deity: I would love to tell you which one I liked best, but it wouldn’t be right for me to play favorites. So, this really is a jagged little pill for me to swallow. It’s ironic too, because you oughta know. But I think that I would be good, if I just kept my hands clean on this one. I don’t mean to flinch, and it probably seems crazy to you - I hate to appear spineless. But I’m old enough to know that, you live and you learn. But thank you for everything. I hope you’ll still see me as a sympathetic character.
Crackle: Who does a better job playing your son, Willem Defoe in The Last Temptation of Christ or Jim Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ?
Mr. Deity: Graham Chapman — who’s right here with me, by the way. Say “hi” Graham. Okay, Graham says, “hi.” He wants you to tell Cleese and the boys that he thought the “ashes/urn” gag was an hysterical bit.
Crackle: What’s the truer stereotype, a vengeful God or a merciful God? Does it depend on the day?
Mr. Deity: Neither. I refuse to be pigeon-holed (not that I don’t enjoy a good pigeon-holing from time-to-time - especially if the mood is right and I’ve had a few). I am merciful to those who deserve mercy and vengeful to those who deserve vengeance. You’ll want to make sure you’re on the right side of that one. And remember, beware of people who are merciful to those who deserve vengeance. For they will be vengeful when mercy is required. Hey, look at that! I waxed poetic in the end. Wasn’t that a nice little piece of wisdom in all of this so-called chaos?
Watch Mr. Deity in action on Crackle, and make sure to tune into the Season 2 finale on Saturday, March 8, also on Crackle.
The brains behind the Bunnies
February 5, 2008
Jennifer Shiman has got a formula to make us laugh, and it works every time. Take a beloved Hollywood smash, shrink it down to 30 seconds, and animate it with helium- voiced (like, higher than Alvin and crew) bunnies. The 38-year-old Shiman has turned more than 40 movies, starting with The Exorcist in 2004, into 30-second bursts of rabbit comedy, making punchlines out of dialogue you never thought you’d laugh at. Here, she kindly breaks down the ins and outs of bunnification for Crackle.
Crackle: Do you own any pets? A bunny, perhaps?
Jennifer Shiman: I don’t currently own any pets. I used to have an iguana. They are not cuddly, to say the least.
Crackle: What events would be portrayed in The Life of Jennifer Shiman in 30 Seconds (and Re-enacted by Bunnies)?
JS: Me waking up; me eating; me surfing the internet; me drawing; me sleeping. Take those five things and loop them!
Crackle: The bunnies shorts walk a wonderful line between adoration for and parody of the movies they’re based on. Do you see them this way, or as pure statements of one or the other?
JS: I definitely see the bunnies’ re-enactments as little homages to each film and the love of watching films.
Above: The Exorcist in 30 Seconds (and Re-enacted by Bunnies)
Crackle: Have you ever gotten feedback from filmmakers whose movies you’ve parodied?
JS: Yes, I have received nice feedback from individuals involved in various ways with some of the movies the bunnies have re-enacted.
Crackle: Are there any movies you would never subject to bunny-fication because of their subject matter?
JS: I wouldn’t say never, but I suspect some movies would be harder to bunnify than others for that reason.
Crackle: Are there any movies you would never subject to bunny-fication because you love them too much? Or is being bunny-fied a symbol of your love for the movie?
JS: If I love a movie, I absolutely feel compelled to bunnify it!
Crackle: Is there a particular genre that is hard to make funny? I would think comedy, except the bunny Borat video is terrific.
JS: Thanks! Yes, I find comedy a challenging genre, since the material is funny by definition. When bunnifying a comedy, I try to play with timing and take liberties with synopsis.
Crackle: When the time comes, will the huge killer bunny in Donnie Darko be a huge killer human?
JS: I will run this by the bunnies at their next roundtable discussion.
Watch more Bunny re-enactments on Crackle.
Script Cops Chief gets interrogated
January 18, 2008
Writer, director and screenwriting professor Scott Rice is the man behind Script Cops, a spot-on parody of COPS where hack screenwriters replace drunks committing
misdameanors. Rice, who teaches at the University of Texas at Austin, is the first person in history to be awarded two Student Academy Award Nominations in two different categories in the same year, has been featured at the Director’s Guild of America theater, and is a straight arrow who won’t take no flak from nobody.
Crackle: You teach screenwriting. Are there really that many ninjas in student films? Really?
Scott Rice: It fluctuates by film school, but, yes, ninjas appear in over 80% of student films. Zombies show up in approximately 67%, often with ninjas.
Crackle: If the script justice system had a death penalty, what script crime would be worthy of its use?
SR: I would say “unearned emotion”… scripts that push buttons and try to draw tears when they haven’t done the job of getting us invested in the characters and situations. That makes me want to kill.
Crackle: Corrupt cops are a fact of life; what script crimes are you most guilty of in your work?
SR: Writing characters that lack unique voices. I don’t have a great ear for dialogue, so it is tough to offer up varying speech patterns and vocabulary. Please note, however, that this crime is only a misdemeanor. It’s not like I mishandle exposition in dialogue or anything serious like that.
Crackle: What five critically-lauded or otherwise beloved movies are most in need of a frisking from the Script Cops?
SR:
1. “Garden State” (Good movie up until the cliché ending.)
2. “Vertigo” (Looks great, but I still don’t get the structure.)
3. “Porky’s” (Influential, but was this supposed to be a comedy?)
4. “Titanic” (Great idea, questionable dialogue.)
5. “Tommy Boy” (I love this movie, but it falls apart by the end.)
By the way, did you like the third act of “No Country for Old Men”? I’m not implying it wasn’t amazing—it was totally amazing—but… did you really like that ending? I mean… Oh, never mind. I loved it 100%. I really did.
Crackle: What movies do the Script Cops enjoy, secretly or otherwise, while off-duty?
SR: They like formulaic sports movies like “Necessary Roughness” and “Rudy.” But they’d never admit it. I heard a contingent of Script Cops ran out to see “The Comebacks” when it opened. Of course, they were disappointed.
Crackle: Even though I tittered intermittently throughout, Freddy Got Fingered and those responsible for it certainly deserve the treatment they receive in Episode 3. What screenwriter do you most wish you could violently tackle and read his Miranda rights?
SR: I’ll just say this: Joe Eszterhas was originally arrested for writing “Showgirls.” Authorities later released him on grounds that the script was “so bad it’s good.” I was furious, but before I could stage a protest outside the courthouse, Paul Verhoeven dragged me into an alley and beat the crap out of me. I never again dogged on a writer by name.
Below: Script Cops Episode 3: Writer Gets Fingered
Crackle: You were an art director at Activision before you became a filmmaker. Which games did you work on? Are story clichés in gaming as rampant and groan-worthy as they are on the silver screen?
SR: I was the art director on “Soldier of Fortune” and was responsible for much of the gore, which no one understood because my favorite movie is “E.T.” I also ghost wrote the cliché-ridden script for that game. I totally stole the “South African as bad guy” thing from Lethal Weapon 2.
Crackle: When writers strike, what do script cops do? Arrest innocent people?
SR: Script Cops pay a heavy price when writers strike. LAPD’s Special Script Unit has canceled many ongoing investigations, putting a number of Script Cops out of work. Some have gotten gigs as writers, but only on web series and reality TV shows. It is unlikely they’ll get their jobs on the force back having become scabs and all. But hey, cops gotta eat.
To see the Script Cops enforce script law with extreme prejudice, catch all the back episodes on Crackle.
Gracing us with his presence to guest blog today is Moving Targets editor Adam Soldinger, who is here to tell us a little bit about himself, and then reveal his five favorite videos from the channel he runs with ruthless efficiency and an iron will. Adam wants to preface his blog with the disclosure that he wrote the following late on a Thursday afternoon after his first champagne…of beers. Take it away, Adam.
After 3 years spent scrubbing the stars on Hollywood Boulevard, I finally found my passion sitting in front of a computer screen for a living, telling people when to laugh. What I lack in sense of humor I completely make up for in height since I’m about 6 inches taller than the average Jew. Anyway…here are some of my favorite clips. They’re funny because I say so…
Click the arrows below the video to scroll through Adam’s Top Five.
5. Giant Midget
Turkeyneck’s “Giant Midget” is absolutely brilliant. Who would have ever thought to write a sketch about a midget stricken with Gigantism…I mean, c’mon! Jim Woods pulls off one of the greatest characters ever. To be honest, the real clincher was the tiny glass of orange juice.
4. What Am I?
“What Am I?” from Those Lil Rabbits borders on incredibly annoying but manages to pull off insanely hilarious. Maybe it’s because I’m a huge Mikey Day fan but I just can’t get enough of those damn puppets. The timing and utter commitment make this a personal favorite.
3. Colonoscopy
I’ve never had my doctor try and film a check-up for theatrical release but I imagine it probably would go something like this. And since I already have trouble peeing in public, a full crew might make things a little uneasy. The good folks at Happy Bagel Productions provide the laughs with this lovely sketch about the making of an arthouse masterpiece.
2. Office Lunch
I love this clip for its sheer over-the-topness. The sketch starts out with a few belly laughs and as the situation gets more and more outrageous, it quickly builds up to a cacophony of laughter. Low-brow humor takes the high road courtesy of Girard Street Productions.
1. Knock Knock
Pete and Brian put a new twist on everyone’s favorite game…Knock Knock. Spend the next three and half minutes trying not to feel uncomfortable. These guys do an amazing job of taking the joke further, and further, and further…
